About Me
My approach is collaborative, supportive, practical, and focused on helping you reach your goals. Fault-finding or blaming is not necessary and is often counter-productive. We’ll work to improve communication, increase understanding and support, establish trust and safety, and build positive moments of relating that strengthen your marital connection. I focus on strengths, rather than emphasizing weaknesses.
You’ll find that I am supportive and easy to talk with, and that therapy will be thought-provoking, enjoyable, stimulating, sometimes humorous, and at times, challenging.
You can expect me to:
- Listen respectfully and empathically
- Ask direct questions
- Help you articulate your needs to each other in a way that can be heard and validated
- Give clear leadership and step-by-step guidance about how to do things differently to cultivate and maintain positive emotional connection
Don't expect me to:
- Sit and nod
- Agree with you all the time
- Avoid difficult topics
- Work harder than you do
- Perform miracles very often
My Marriage-Friendly Therapist's Values Statement
The Marriage Friendly Therapists Registry seeks therapists who see themselves as supporting couples’ original commitment to their marriage unless there is a compelling reason not to.
A requirement for the Registry is that the therapist agrees in principle with the following statement about marriage and the practice of marriage counseling.
Affirming this statement indicates agreement with its spirit and overall content. Since I am registered with Marriage Friendly Therapists, I am including on this page the Values Statement which expresses my own personal committment:
1. Because as a marriage therapist I know that healthy, lifelong marriage is good for individuals, families and communities, I affirm the unique value of marriage and the importance of life long commitment in marriage.
2. Because as a marriage therapist I believe that many and maybe even most marriages can be restored to health even when the spouses are unhappy, conflicted, or demoralized, my first stance is to explore how the couple might preserve their marriage and find a path to a better relationship.
3. Because as a marriage therapist I believe in fairness and equity in couple relationships, I promote the needs and goals of both parties.
4. Because as a marriage therapist I understand that some marriages are toxic and dangerous, I do not promote marital commitment blindly but rather with respect for the safety and human dignity of both partners and their children.
5. Because as a marriage therapist I acknowledge my clients’ ultimate responsibility and authority to make their own decisions about staying married or divorcing, I respect these decisions even if they differ from what I hope for them, and I acknowledge that spouses sometimes have incompatible goals for their marriage.
6. Because as a marriage therapist I know that there are many stakeholders in marriage, especially children but also extended family members and the broader community, I work to help couples see how the success or failure of their marriage affects others in their lives.
7. Because as a marriage therapist I understand the high stakes in working with troubled couples, I seek consultation when I feel stuck in therapy or when the couple is moving towards what may be a premature divorce.
I’ve been helping couples improve their relationships for more than 30 years.
I have a strong conviction that most marriages are worth fighting for.
Marital therapy is about change in a supportive environment with a therapist committed to helping you improve your marriage because almost all relationships need to change in order to grow and flourish.
At times, problems arise which may seem overwhelming and too difficult to overcome – when trust has been broken or connection seems lost.
I am committed to working with you to ease the process. This means that I may not always be neutral. Rather, I will be honest and I will help you to be honest with each other. I take the stance that nearly all marriages are worth saving and I will promise you that I will give yours every chance to succeed.
I’ve been helping couples improve their relationships for more than 30 years.
I have a strong conviction that most marriages are worth fighting for.
Marital therapy is about change in a supportive environment with a therapist committed to helping you improve your marriage because almost all relationships need to change in order to grow and flourish.
At times, problems arise which may seem overwhelming and too difficult to overcome – when trust has been broken or connection seems lost.
I am committed to working with you to ease the process. This means that I may not always be neutral. Rather, I will be honest and I will help you to be honest with each other. I take the stance that nearly all marriages are worth saving and I will promise you that I will give yours every chance to succeed.
Credentials
My degrees are in psychology and theology. I am a licensed New York marriage and family therapist, a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists and I have been trained in multiple approaches to marital/couples therapy and family therapy.
My initial training was based on Family Systems, a study of family interactions and how they shape our manner of relating to others.
I have completed Level 3 Practicum Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and use Gottman Method Couples Therapy in my work.
I have also completed externship training with the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy(EFT) for couples and PREP (Prevention & Relationship Enhancement Program).
When appropriate, I employ Solution Oriented Brief Therapy as taught by Michelle Weiner-Davis (see Divorce Busting).
